Panik Attack

Wow, it starded that night with very confused dreams and it continues with awful doubts right now. I mean, what am i doing??

I'm about to accept to change my life for the guy who was the most destructive thing in my exitence.

And what if he still the same? What if i doing a terrible mistake?

Nobody change right?

He said he have his whole life to wait for me to trust him again, but really i'm not sure.

I'm not specially thrilled about the idea of staying in Paris.

My goal was to get enough savings for leaving to Montreal or Vencouvert and of course in Paris it will takes more time.

I will not be alone to decided what and where i want to do & to go in my most independent usual way.

And beside that, while i was single, i thought that i will meet, sooner or later, the man of my dream.
The one just designed for me, the one i belong to.
Who will makes me feel secure and appeased, in peace with my self and on top of everything the one who makes me abandon the fear of wasted my life with doubts! I need someone strong who i can lay on sometimes (figuratively speaking^).

And that's unfortunatly not the picture i have kept from J.

Maybe he will or even already have change(d), but i'm terrified.
I used to be such a confident gal, that whole story with J. makes collapse all my self-confidence.

 

Ok i'm done with Psychology 101!

Today it's one of my good friend birthday, D.!

We are going to the restaurant tonight and to a club after that.

In the after-noon, i'm going with her boyfriend buy her a pair of Christian Louboutin. She adores them and can't afford it, so we all contributed.

Should be a fun day!